Saturday, March 22, 2008

Happy Belated to Kevin Federline

Hot Chicks with Douchebags will get your tear ducts flowing. Site author Douchebag1 seems to have infinite ways to eloquently convey how douchey the world of men has become. Shit is a laugh riot to the nth degree.

Yesterday brought birthday greetings to K-Fed.

Popozao Turns 30

Yes, Kevin Federline, the Typhoid Mary of Hollydouche, turns thirty years old today.

This is sort of impressive. Maintaining cultural puke status for such a long period of time demonstrates an almost supernatural ability to be a heaping serving of worthless whitetrash jello pudding pop.

You are an energy suck of all that is worthwhile after five millenia of human development, Federbag. You make me itchy. And not in a good way.

And yes, Paris Hilton is a ball of douchebaguette on her own. Together, these two make me want to spray Lysol into my eyes while scrubbing my crotch with a wire brush.

Friday, March 21, 2008

The McLovin MacGuffin



Vanity Fair has a great slideshow of iconic Hitchcock moments re-imagined by the likes of Javier Bardem, Jodie Foster, Scarlett Johansson, Keira Knightley, Seth Rogen and many more.

Laugh be a Lady


And while you're there, check out this month's cover story on the current state of female funny. Author Alessandra Stanley and photographer Annie Leibovitz provide forum for Tina Fey, Sarah Silverman, and others to shoot down anyone 'Who Says Women Aren't Funny?'

The Gloves Are Off!

The already bitter rivalry between "Brewman" JDot and "Cubbie" Frybyrd intensified this morning when a winner take all bet was made between the two Yeah, I Figured icons on which team, the Cubs or the Brewers, would end the season with the better record.


The terms? Other MLB teams are not a factor, so placement in the standings doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is the win-loss record of the two teams of note. In the event of a tied win-loss record, the tie breaker is the number of wins in Cubs-Brewers contests. If head-to-head also ends in a tie, the result is a push and neither man wins.

"This has been a long time coming," remarked Frybyrd when asked to comment. "I'm a Cubs fan living in the middle of Brewers country. The Brewers and their fans have been a thorn in my side ever since the Brewers were realigned to the NL Central Division in '98. It's a shame, really. I used to like both teams. But now..."

What's at stake? The only thing that matters to two grown men raised in the state of Wisconsin-BEER!! The loser will be obliged to buy the winner a 12-pack of beer of the winner's choosing.

"This really raises the stakes for me," JDot stated in a phone interview. "I just shudder at the thought of being seen in a liquor store buying a case of Leinie's Honey Weiss, or whatever other shitty beer Frybyrd happens to think is trendy at the time. Embarrassing."

The bet is expected to make the atmosphere at Yeah, I Figured offices a great deal tenser than it normally is. An unidentified Yeah, I Figured employee comments: "All I know is that when JDot and Frybyrd get going with the baseball trash talk around here, everyone else takes cover! It gets almost as bad as Election Night at the Grease household!"

What will be the outcome? Who knows. The only thing to do is to wait for the end of the baseball season and see how things shake out. It can only be speculated as to what the aftermath will be when it is all over. Neither bettor is known to be a gracious loser.

Good Will


Coinciding with some of the largest protests in Tibet in nearly two decades, US House of Representatives speaker Nancy Pelosi and nine other members of Congress have traveled to Dharamsala, India where the Tibetan government is in exile.

The trip was arranged long in advance of the recent outbreak. However, Pelosi acting on her own behalf, joined the Dalai Lama in front of a gathering of 2,000 mainly Tibetan people and said,

“If freedom-loving people throughout the world do not speak out against China’s oppression in China and Tibet, we have lost all moral authority to speak on behalf of human rights anywhere in the world.”

I've cringed at Pelosi's previous blunt attacks on President Bush and the GOP. Although just, they come across as juvenile and confrontational. Not a winning combination in my opinion.

The Dalai Lama's message of peace and acceptance has somehow served as a conduit to Pelosi lessening her accusational grip. And I for one would like to applaud Pelosi; especially for someone in her position to willingly point a bold finger at China. Props, you cold-hearted bitch.

The New York Times has the story.

Good Friday

Yesterday I bought She & Him's Volume One, based solely on a blurb I read at Pitchfork:


Actress Zooey Deschanel and singer-songwriter M. Ward team on a collection of songs that feel like familiar AM radio classics.

Vanity projects often come across as such. I'm always skeptical and intrigued when an artist from one medium decides to give it a go in another. I knew little of Zooey Deschanel outside of her filmography until I read an article in Stop Smiling magazine. The issue focused on Hollywood, past and present. Zooey and her father, Caleb (himself a respected cinematographer who lensed The Slugger's Wife and The Passion of the Christ among others) discussed upbringing and family ties. It was a good read and shed light on Zooey's celebrity influence (her actress mother Mary Jo had a reoccurring role on David Lynch's Twin Peaks.). This coupled with "familiar AM radio classics" was enough for me to commit.

Although songwriter Deschanel and guitarist Matt Ward offer 10 original compositions, the album does indeed feel familiar, in a warm and comforting manner. The opener, 'Sentimental Heart', sounds something Beatle-esque with gliding strings built on barren keys. The sound maintains, then devolves into bleak, pop-country. A good thing in this case.

Later they cover Lennon and McCartney's "I Should Have Known Better"and Smokey Robinson's "You Really Got a Hold on Me" - both to somberly regret. Zooey closes the album with the traditional, "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot." Her voice sounds like sobering final acceptance of a love complete.

Spitzer Goes to Therapy

Ok everybody, listen up. Several questions arise from the recent happenings of Eliot Spitzer, but one stands above the rest. What are we to make of these events now that they have almost completely unfolded? JDot, Yeah, I Figured That Much Executive Columnist is here to answer just that. Here goes.

Fuck a prostitute and get caught: Go to therapy.

Fuck a prostitute and DON’T get caught: Keep on fuckin’.

Thanks for setting the example Mr. Spitzer!

Glances At History

Sometime last summer, I read this short piece in a collection of essays written by Mark Twain. When I finished reading it, I had one of those "Holy Shit!" moments that one gets when one is profoundly affected by something.

The words sounded familiar-too familiar. In particular, the last paragraph really stuck to me.

Twain wrote this essay in the early 1900's (1906?) as a commentary on American military action taking place at the time. But given the current state of affairs, there is no doubt that it is relevant today.

I forgot that I had saved this essay on a word document until I happened upon it this morning while looking for another file. I think that this is a great piece of writing, and more people should take these words to heart.



PASSAGE FROM “GLANCES AT HISTORY” (suppressed.)

Mark Twain

Date, 9th century.


*** In a speech which he made more than 500 years ago, and which has come down to us intact, he said:

We, free citizens of the Great Republic, feel an honest pride in her greatness, her strength, her just and gentle government, her unsmirched flag, her hands clean from oppression of the weak and from malicious conquest, her hospitable door that stands open to the hunted and the persecuted of all nations; we are proud of the judicious respect in which she is held by the monarchies which hem her in on every side, and proudest of all of that lofty patriotism which we inherited from our fathers, which we have kept pure, and which won our liberties in the beginning and has preserved them unto this day. While that patriotism endures the Republic is safe, her greatness is secure, and against them the powers of the earth cannot prevail.

I pray you to pause and consider. Against our traditions we are now entering upon an unjust and trivial war, a war against a helpless people, and for a base object – robbery. At first our citizens spoke out against this thing, by an impulse natural to their training. To-day they have turned and their voice is the other way. What caused the change? Merely a politician’s trick – a high sounding phrase, a blood-stirring phrase which turned their uncritical heads: Our Country, right or wrong! An empty phrase, a silly phrase. It was shouted by every newspaper, it was thundered from the pulpit, the Superintendent of Public Instruction placarded it in every school-house in the land, the War Department inscribed it upon the flag. And every man who failed to shout it or who was silent, was proclaimed a traitor – none but those others were patriots. To be a patriot, one had to say, and keep on saying, “Our Country, right or wrong,” and urge on the little war. Have you not perceived that that phrase is an insult to the nation?

For in a republic, who is “the country?” Is it the government which is for the moment in the saddle? Why, the Government is merely a servant – merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn’t. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them. Who, then, is “the country?” Is it the newspaper? is it the pulpit? is it the school-superintendent? Why, these are mere parts of the country, not the whole of it; they have not command, they have only their little share in the command. They are but one in the thousand; it is in the thousand that command is lodged; they must determine what is right and what is wrong; they must decide who is a patriot and who isn’t.

Who are the thousand – that is to say, who are “the country?” In a monarchy, the king and his family are the country; in a republic it is the common voice of the people. Each of you, for himself, by himself and on his own responsibility, must speak. And it is a solemn and weighty responsibility, and not lightly to be flung aside at the bullying of the pulpit, press, government, or the empty catch-phrases of politicians. Each must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, and which course is patriotic and which isn’t. You cannot shirk this and be a man. To decide it against your convictions is to be an unqualified and inexcusable traitor, both to yourself and to your country, let men label you as they may. If you alone of all the nation shall decide one way, and that way be the right way according to your convictions of the right, you have done your duty by yourself and by your country – hold up your head! you have nothing to be ashamed of.

Only when a republic’s life is in danger should a man uphold his government when it is wrong. There is no other time.

This republic’s life is not in peril. The nation has sold its honor for a phrase. It has swung itself loose from its safe anchorage and is drifting, its helm is in pirate hands. The stupid phrase needed help, and it got another one: “Even if the war be wrong we are in it and must fight it out: we cannot retire from it without dishonor.” Why, not even a burglar could have said it better. We cannot withdraw from this sordid raid because to grant peace to those little people upon their terms – independence – would dishonor us. You have flung away Adam’s phrase – you should take it up and examine it again. He said, “An inglorious peace is better than a dishonorable war.”

You have planted a seed, and it will grow.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Kids Again


A slow news day ends with a bit of 80's nostalgia.

Ain't It Cool News has the first official photo of Snake-Eyes, the ninjato wielding Sergeant First Class E-7 from the upcoming G.I. Joe movie. Stephen Sommers of Mummy fame directs.

Maybe this kind of story belongs on the back page. But given the week's heavy handed coverage of Iraq, gun control and Brett Favre, some of us could probably use a little childish nuance.

The origin of Snake-Eyes plays like Greek tragedy. At least according to Wikipedia:

Stalker, Storm Shadow and Snake-Eyes served together in the Vietnam War in a LRRP (Long Range Reconnaissance Patrol) unit. While Snake-Eyes served in combat, he always carried a picture of his twin sister with him in his hat, for good luck. On their last sortie they came under heavy fire and Snake-Eyes became separated from the group and wounded. Storm Shadow doubled back and saved Snake-Eyes' life. Upon returning home from the war, Snake-Eyes met with General Hawk (then just a Colonel), who informed him that his family had been killed in a car accident (which coincidentally involved the brother of the man who would eventually become G.I. Joe's arch-foe, Cobra Commander). After some soul-searching, Snake-Eyes went to study the ninja arts with Storm Shadow's family.

Snake-Eyes’s ability to quickly learn skills especially impressed Storm Shadow’s uncle, the Hard Master. Over time, Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow became sword brothers, and unintentional rivals for the attention and favor of the Hard Master, who liked pitting them against one another to test their considerable skills. Though Snake-Eyes often attempted to throw matches in order that his friend should save face in front of his family, the Hard Master was aware of Snake-Eyes' ruse, and knew him to be the true victor.

Packers Retire #4

(emotional sigh)

Few events in the public’s eye make mine water. The hypocritical commoner that I am, such hugely important things like this ongoing war, raising gas prices, and senseless murder that happens everywhere, all the time are NOT such things. I say this with an honest heart and a cloudy eye when I say that Brett Favre’s number being retired IS.

During his retirement speech, when Favre would tear up, I would tear up. Like my previous loves, I’m still not completely over the fact that Brett Favre is retired. A solid brick fact I’ll have to face come next season.

So while I’m carrying on and on about 1 person playing 1 position, a sport none-the-less, I feel an obligation to confess how much Brett felt like (a new cliché) a member of our family.

I was in High School when Favre first made his mark on Green Bay. I’m a working professional (?) now and even though I’m 1500+ miles away from Green Bay, my heart still sinks to think of a Packer game without #4. One satisfying fact is that no one will ever wear that number as a Green Bay Packer ever again.

Fly, Fly Away

According to the guy on the street waiting for the bus, my mother's co-worker and the LA Times, ticket prices for summer flights will increase due to higher fuel costs and overall general executive greed.

If planning a trip this summer, consider Hertz or if you're feeling adventurous consider stealing a car.

Yeah, I Figured That Much does not condone the stealing of cars.

March Madness begins

Good Morning.

Hard to top ESPN's homicidal coverage of the NCAA tournament, which begins today.

I think it's safe to say a lot of us who don't follow college basketball extensively during the regular season, consult this sports mecca when filling out office brackets. I'm part of this group.

But it seems to come as disservice because every year Mary from accounting who couldn't give two fucks about last second shots and Cinderella stories, wins.

They say ignorance is bliss. Maybe because it brings with it a nice pay day. For Mary. Fuck Mary.

That said, win or lose, March Madness is hands down the most exciting time of year in sports. So many teams, so many story lines, and years of tradition make it such.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

CNN's Got It

So pop culture. Well, CNN.com offers an interesting question: Are you driving less because of high gas prices? While I voted YES twice (from work and home), THIS columnist wonders how negative it really is that 69% of 183k+ voters said yes.

So, driving less. That means fewer cars on the road, less emissions, less angry assholes cutting into the carpool lane, and less people paying ridiculous gas prices. While on the other hand means crowded bus stops, late Production Coordinators, and increasing public transportation prices.

So, what’s the deal? Higher gas prices could mean that more people have to embrace the fact that their “home town’s” public transportation really isn’t as bad as they boast it is.

Take the bus, carpool, call in. Offer Mother Earth an appetizer of goodness by applying some effort.

This forged message of goodwill has been brought to you by, Yeah, I Figured That Much.

One Man's Opinion: "More fucking snow! Fuck!"

This may be only relevant to readers in Madison, Wisconsin. And in lieu of an earlier post on Iraq, it's probably hypocritical to bitch about the impending snow storm headed our way tomorrow. But, fuck it!


Everything's relative and Madisonians have had to deal with frigid temperatures and almost 100 inches of motherfucking, cocksucking snow this season. Not to mention 15 minute morning commutes lasting an hour, meteor-sized pot holes and people tracking salt and God knows what else into nice, clean houses. Enough already!

Lewis Black said it best. Our brains tend to have a hard time finishing thoughts in the winter, because sentences usually start something like this: "You know, I've really got to..." and inevitably end with: "...fuck, it's cold!"

BREAKING NEWS FROM CNN.COM

Boston Red Sox refuse to take field for final spring training game in dispute over coaches’ pay.

Click here for a headline banner that has yet to become an article.

(On A Lighter Note) Rockets Burn Out at 22

An incredible run has come to a screeching halt as the (soon to be champions) Boston Celtics beat the Houston Rockets last night, thus ending their 22 game winning streak. That streak is 2nd only to the 1972 Lakers' run of 33 in a row.

Good job Rockets, but seriously, you couldn't have won 2 more?

Bush Responds to “Necessary” American Deaths

"No one would argue that this war has not come at a high cost in lives and treasure, but those costs are necessary when we consider the cost of a strategic victory for our enemies in Iraq," the president said.

“In lives and treasure.” What the fuck does that even mean? Treasured lives? $$$’s spent? Ok, so let me ask you Mr. Bush, exactly in what way is $600 BILLION and 4,298 American lives worth preventing “STRATEGIC VICTORY?”

Here’s hoping #4,300 is yours Mr. President.

The results so far: 5 years, 4,298 coalition causualities, $600,000,000,000 spent


March 26, 2003. An Iraqi soldier killed in a firefight with U.S. Marines in central Iraq, north of Nasiriya.
Photo - James Hill for The New York Times.


Good Morning.

Today's headline is a cheap tactic. But with a war that has exceeded all budgets, something from it should come at low cost.

Anniversaries are meant to be celebrated or honored. The Iraq War, outside of the hundreds of thousands of civilian and military lives lost, fits neither.

A lot of folks are wondering aloud, what that $600 billion price tag would have bought here in the states. Health care? Social Security? Education? Whatever your preference, this war has in many ways substituted forward progression in this country. Whoever's next in line has a big pile of shit to clean up.

Ok, ranting aside, here's other coverage with varying degrees of contempt:

I'll try to update this list throughout the day.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Gunnin' For That #1 Spot

(Another letter from our friend at Oscilloscope Laboratories, Adam Yauch)

hello again,

so this time i'm writing to you about a film i directed called "GUNNIN' FOR THAT #1 SPOT". it's about the top high school basketball players in the country. there's more info at gunninmovie.com. the whole site isn't up yet, but there is a temp site there and the rest of the site should be up soon. hope you find the topic as interesting as i did.

i'm writing to you about this one through the b-boys mailing list, but generally we won't be hitting this list with info about oscilloscope releases, so if you want to keep an eye on OSCILLOSCOPE LABORATORIES sign up for the o-scope mailing list at oscilloscope.net (sorry, that sounded like a commercial.)

and to anyone that took the time to reach out to your government representatives on the T situation, thanks for that. nice one.

talk to you soon,
adam

Arthur C. Clarke Dies at 90

Legendary author Arthur C. Clarke died today, and with his ultimate demise left a world of 2001 fans grieving in despair.

His collaboration with Stanley Kubrick on the critically acclaimed masterpiece 2001: A Space Odyssey set an unmovable marker of excellence and cinematic triumph that will live on far beyond the stars for all eternity. Rumor has it he was also a pedophile.

Arthur C. Clarke. Dead at age 90.

Frybyrd apologizes for red carpet blunder


Yeah, I Figured columnist, Frybyrd.

A follow-up from an earlier story entitled, 'Intern causes Red Carpet stir.'

LOS ANGELES - Yeah, I Figured That Much columnist, Frybryd has apologized for embracing Jennifer Garner on the red carpet at the Oscars last month.

During a live E! pre-show broadcast, Frybyrd repeatedly interrupted while Ryan Seacrest was interviewing Garner and Laura Linney. At one point, Frybyrd embraced Garner, who looked annoyed.

"I meant no disrespect to Ms. Jennifer Garner when I met her at the Oscars and apologize if I made her uncomfortable," the 34-year-old writer said in a statement e-mailed Monday by a publicist for his attorney, Vicki Roberts.

By the time he realized Garner and Linney were being interviewed, Frybyrd said he tried to step back but "suddenly Ryan introduced her to me."

Calls to Garner's publicist, Leslie Sloane-Zelnik, weren't immediately returned.

"I simply greeted both actresses with joy and open arms, which is the way I would greet anyone I'm happy to meet," Frybyrd said. "Everyone has experienced a handshake or hug which has turned awkward, and this was no different."

Frybyrd is the most recent columnist on Yeah, I Figured. His previous work appeared in the pages of Bubbles.

(Editor's note: This entire article is a complete fabrication of a story released earlier by the AP.)

Director Anthony Minghella dies

Known primarily for his cinematic literary translations, Anthony Minghella had specialized in sweeping, emotionally wrought, character driven stories. Mingella passed away Tuesday in London. He was 54.

The AP has a write up.

I still think his Talented Mr. Ripley is one of the best films of the 90's - a beautifully filmed, fascinating examination of lust and envy with a great ensemble. Through this film and his entire body of work, Minghella seemed to personify a true artisan.

The Dillinger Escape Plan shoots new music video in Wisconsin

That rowdy bunch of no-gooders is back at it, and this time shooting a brand new video. For unknown reasons area locals showed up to the set of the new video acting on word that a feature film was being shot there. A cloud of confusion still lingers over everyone on set.

(Really quick, Allmusic describes The Dillinger Escape Plan as: The Dillinger Escape Plan create maniacally intense, crushingly metallic, and decidedly hardcore punk-infused jazz-time-signature-invoking compositions displaying an unparalleled musical bravery, precision musicianship, meticulously thought-out, and complex structuring, and rigorous physical endurance.)

Click here for info on The Dillinger Escape Plan.

Click here for photos from their new video.

If not for whores, things would be lonely at the top


In the tempestuous wake of Eliot Spitzer's resignation, new New York Gov. David Patterson and wife, Michele have admitted to equal opportunity adultery according to this CNN report.

In other cheating governor news, former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey says he and his wife Dina Matos McGreevey used to engage in three-way sex with his ex-aide and driver.

Former aide, Terry Pederson labeled the trysts as a "hard-core consensual sex orgy" or "Friday Night Special."

Dina Matos McGreevey has denied the allegation. Again, CNN has the dirt.

Piracy Needs Company


Good morning!

Sometime Yeah, I Figured contributor, Hennessy, has a fresh take on the spoils of piracy via a used book store.

It's a funny read, and a great example of stoic wit from the working class douchebag - a Hennessy staple.

"We don’t order things. We don’t have to, and it helps business, because everybody always thinks they’ll be able to find a better deal somewhere. Who, though really wants to order from a store? It’s unnecessary. It’s a pain in the ass to order from a store. The internet allows for much more immediate gratification. Piracy is just the obvious byproduct of a generation with a short attention and enough technological knowhow to get what they want.

Hearing studios and record labels whine about losing money due to piracy only gets funnier when taken into consideration the number of critics who sell their promo swag to our store. We greet, with open arm the critics who come, loaded to the brim with advanced proofs, unopened cds, dvds, and boxed sets—some weeks before their street date.

There are no fools in these transactions."

For the rest, visit Notes of a Defeatist.com - a great source for all things absurd. Here, Hennessy houses a small collection of interviews he conducted with authors, Colby Buzzell, Craig Davidson, Dustin Long, and Matt Silady. And if that doesn't have you frantically clicking the above link, know also that Notes of a Defeatist is the net's #1 stop for Tara Reid quotes.

Monday, March 17, 2008

CNN Breaking News for Monday March 17, 2008

Planet in peril while tornado barrels through downtown Atlanta, and 160,436 out of 190,984 (84%) people think the United States is in a recession.

Explosion kills 40 in Iraq, while Issue #1 is still America’s Money. ABBA drummer dies but astronauts outfit robot with tool belt and camera!
CNN.com’s headlines are a grim example of how solemn our times are. Thank God for Yeah, I Figured That Much.

Has-Been Rapper doesn't give a shit about the Presidential Race


DMX keeps it real as he is updated on world events--like the Presidential race.

From XXL mag.com:

"Are you following the presidential race?
Not at all.

You’re not?You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
His name is Barack?!

Barack Obama, yeah.
Barack?!

Barack.
What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
Barack Obama?

Yeah.
What the fuck?! That ain’t no fuckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.
I ain’t really paying much attention.

I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…
Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your fuckin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.

So you’re not following the race. You can’t vote right?
Nope.

Is that why you’re not following it?
No, because it’s just—it doesn’t matter. They’re gonna do what they’re gonna do. It doesn’t really make a difference. These are the last years.

But it would be pretty big if we had a first Black president. That would be huge.
I mean, I guess…. What, they gon’ give a dog a bone? There you go. Ooh, we have a Black president now. They should’ve done that shit a long time ago, we wouldn’t be in the fuckin’ position we in now. With world war coming up right now. They done fucked this shit up then give it to the Black people, “Here you take it. Take my mess.”

Right, exactly.
It’s all a fuckin’ setup. It’s all a setup. All fuckin’ bullshit. All bullshit. I don’t give a fuck about none of that.

We could have a female president also, Hillary Clinton.
I mean, either way it doesn’t matter. I don’t care. No one person is directly affected by which president, you know, so what does it matter.

Yeah, but the country is.
I guess. The president is a puppet anyway. The president don’t make no damn decisions.

The president…they don’t have that much authority basically?
Nah, never.

But Bush pretty much…
You think Bush is making fuckin’ decisions?

He did, yeah, he fucked up the country.
He act like he making decisions. He could barely speak! He could barely fuckin’ speak!
Can’t be serious. He ain’t making no damn decisions.

Well Barack has a good chance of winning so that might be something.
Good for him, good for him."

The End of Relevance?


"Moving images, far more than words or sounds, are hefty rivers of digital bits as they traverse the Internet’s pipes and gateways, requiring, in industry parlance, more bandwidth. Last year, by one estimate, the video site YouTube consumed as much bandwidth as the entire Internet did in 2000, reports NY Times writer Steve Lohr."

The end of the internet? Not likely say most analysts. But a definite challenge looms as more and more people post shit about how unbelievably crappy the new Hulk trailer looks.

Bulldog Reporter's Daily Dog has the 411.

Concept Comedy

Funnyman Ricky Gervais has started a blog for his upcoming film, This Side of Truth. Described as "a comedy set in a world where no one has ever had the ability to lie...Until now", this will be Gervais' first crack at writing and directing a feature length.


The latest post discusses the possibility of constant Gervais scapegoat, Karl Pilkington, contributing some sort of commentary track for the eventual DVD. Those who follow Gervais and writing partner Steven Merchant, know of Pilkington's eccentric banality from a series of laugh out loud podcasts - one of which is archived in this post. Great stuff!

Click here to follow along during the film's production.

(Original story courtesy, Ain't it Cool.)


Kidding Aside

(Editor's Note: It seems appropriate to post this email from Adam Yauch given this site's recent reconfiguration and focus on current events of varying severity. Apologies to those who don't like the Beastie Boys.)



17 March 2008

hey all,

hope you don't mind me hitting you on the b-boys blast line, but things are really getting intense in tibet now. it's coming to a head. i just hope that all of the suffering that the tibetan protesters are enduring leads to some positive change, hence this letter. we can push our governments to lean on the chinese government to stop the cultural genocide.

attached below is a news bulletin that i got this morning. if you are a US citizen please take the time to write to your local congress representative and ask them to get to work. if you are a citizen of another country, you can ask your government reps...

it would be sad if what is happening in tibet now had no constructive result.

thanks, adam

Urgent Action: Tell your Congressional Representative to Support Tibet
In horrific late breaking news, Radio Free Asia is now reporting that up to 80 or more Tibetans have been killed in today’s violent clashes with Chinese military. Chinese authorities responded with brute force today to ongoing protests in Lhasa and across Tibet. Supported by tanks, thousands of armed troops have sealed off the three major monasteries where nonviolent protests were initiated on Monday. Chinese police have fired live ammunition into crowds of unarmed Tibetans and unconfirmed reports from eye-witnesses in Lhasa say that 26 Tibetans were gunned down outside Drapchi prison. While the international public and media have been appropriately horrified by China’s clampdown, the U.S. has made only very weak statements. White House Spokesman Tony Fratto said, “We believe Beijing needs to respect Tibetan culture. They need to respect multi-ethnicity in their society. We regret the tensions between ethnic groups and Beijing.”

Please contact your Congressional Representatives now and urge them to support Tibet by calling on the U.S Government to strongly condemn China’s actions.

Gun Talk

Tomorrow, the US Supreme Court begins a hearing on what U.S. News and World Report is calling, "the most significant case on gun control in decades." The focus of which will center on "whether the Second Amendment supports an individual's right to bear arms and not just a state's right to form a militia."


Proponents of both sides are turning up the volume of their concerns over the possibilities of stricter gun laws. However, some groups have been heard loud and clear for years.

In the early 90's, a Bronx, New York neighborhood association began a grassroots campaign advocating citizens to protect their well being at any cost. Then New York Mayor, Rudy Guiliani, condemned the outcry as a "powder keg to mass riot." He cited a video, entitled, "Throw Ya Gunz" as primary evidence to the fact.

In recent weeks, the video's circulation has increased over a variety of outlets. Presented here is an edited version.

Happy St. Paddy's Day Everyone!

Being 1/4 Irish, I feel a bit perturbed with myself that this wasn't my first post of the day. But never-the-less, HAPPY ST. PADDY'S DAY EVERYONE! For a lucrative article on this very special day, click here.

For last year's write up on this day of Shamrocks and Shenanigans,click here.

Conservation Style


The Wattson.

The Economist has an interesting read on portable energy meters - those little devices that measure an appliance's energy efficacy. Some, like The Wattson, go even further:

Contained within a stylish case, it can remember four weeks' worth of electricity-consumption data, which can be downloaded to a computer for further scrutiny. Besides showing usage patterns, it can produce coloured “mood” lights which change according to energy consumption: blue when you are being frugal, red when consumption soars.

Energy conservation presented in a sleek, contemporary design worthy of Dwell - finally the hard line between efficiency and style has been erased.

Elsewhere, Ray Unger of the Capital Times writes about market response to increased energy costs. As gasoline prices continue to soar, gas consumption has fallen for the first time in 16 years. Conversely, mass transit ridership is up nationwide.

All of this supports the theory of 'green living' as less a trend, and more a necessity to slow down global warning and sustain Mother Earth. Even US construction firms are ensuring developments and properties meet strict energy-saving requirements in order to be approved for real estate investment trusts (REITs.) 'Green' products and services are crossing industry lines. Consumers are responding. And how can they not, when everywhere you look something or someone is being touted as 'green'. Consequently, as 'green' saturation spreads, consumers must hip themselves to what's legit and watt's not.

By the way, Happy St. Patrick's Day!

This Stupid Bitch

(WARNING: This post has been rated R and is not suitable for just about everyone)
This stupid bitch marries rock legend Paul McCartney, divorces him, and gets $50 mil? What the fuck? She ain’t even all that good looking. It sickens me to no end how greedy bitches (guys too) who never work an honest day in their lives EXPECT to have everything handed to them. WAKE THE FUCK UP AND GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS DIRTY ONCE AND A WHILE! GET YOUR OWN DAMN $50 MIL!

Stupid bitch. That’s right Heather Mills. I’m calling you out. Money hungry prostitute. Enjoy the rest of your life being viewed the World over as nothing but a fucking joke! (A $50 mil joke. FUCK!)

Courtesy of JDot and Yeah, I Figured That Much.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Cry Babies

Kobe Bryant and the Lakers attempt to thwart Tracy McGrady and the Rockets' 21 game win streak this afternoon. ESPN's Tim Legler looks at Houston's historic run.


Should be an exciting game featuring two of the league's biggest prima donnas.