Senior Year: Part 2 “Guilty by Association”

GLENDALE, CA (YIFTM) – I’m not proud of this story. I was/am an idiot and believe me when I tell you I’m greatly appreciative of beatbox’s character for him to even speak to me. If by this point you haven’t read the previous post titled Senior Year: Part 1 “Getting Rid of a Gangsta” read that now. This is however Part 2 and confusion may abound if these articles are read out of order.

Ok, assuming that you’ve read Part 1 I’ll jump right in. Just like today beatbox and the Gangsta were inseparable. I’m not joking when I say that although they are not roommates they do live in the same building. In HS I always attempted to fit in with bb & GW, but always felt a bit out of place. The morning after the “phone call” I had Marketing with beatbox. Every class up to that day beatbox and I would sit together and work on the same project whenever we could (Beastie Boys poster; I still have it). This day beatbox had arrived in class early and was sitting in our usual section. This is where I’m an asshole. I walked in and completely ignored beatbox as well as his polite greeting. I sat in the back of the class and didn’t speak to beatbox for months. I’d felt that since beatbox and the Gangsta were close (and their girlfriends were close) beatbox’s attitude towards talking shit about my girlfriend would be the same as Gangsta’s. I don’t know if this is true but I didn’t wait to find out. Only a true asshole destroys a friendship based on someone else’s actions. I am that asshole. I’d foolishly allowed the destruction of 2 great friendships, and the realization of that fact hit me like a tetherball to the gut.

In the final semester of our Senior year I found myself in the same Creative Writing class as beatbox. We sat at the opposite ends of the room and beatbox would tell you that this wasn’t enough space. By this time my relationship with Carina had ended, started up again, then ended again (and thankfully for good). During certain projects in our Writing class we were made to participate with everyone else in the class. At this point I was so ashamed of what I’d done to beatbox that I masked that emotion with anger. We’d talked in that class but about nothing other than our projects. It was truly an interesting experience. Here was one of my closest friends that I’d hated, but missed dearly. And the greatly deserved cold shoulder I’d received forced me to analyze the situation in an attempt to avoid it from happening again.

It would be years until beatbox and I spoke again. I’m not sure who initiated the contact but I distinctly remember emailing him about a great film I’d just seen called Notorious. The return message was positive and it moved us 1 step closer to a full but scarred friendship.

It’s definitely interesting to think that what I believe is an extremely strong friendship (both with the Gangsta and beatbox) is riddled with holes like the Fratelli’s ORV. I’m older and a bit wiser, and if you’re going through some shit of your own with your friends do whatever you can to work it out. I’ve learned from my mistakes. And if anyone can learn from them as well, then this article will have done its job.