FULL HOUSE

Happy Six Months YITS!

You don't look your age at all. One wonders how you're able to keep such a nice smooth, wrinkle free complexion. Especially in the face of the constant shit being flung from the Pacific to the Heartland. What's the trick? Positive thinking? No that can't be it, not in this world. Certainly not on this site. The ongoing bickering amongst your children can't possibly contribute to your cool demeanor. Although, forgive me for saying, but the kids are probably to blame for those grey hairs. Don't worry though it gives you character. It gives you clout. Let's readers know that this site has been around the block a few times and is to be taken seriously.

Speaking of seriously, someone needs to tell Jerry and Gangsta to chill out. Life doesn't have to be so hard all the time. You're right, everyone develops at their own pace. But from an outsider's perspective, seems to me that Mij and Hennessy are lapping their younger brothers for the fourth or maybe even fifth time. Some days I wonder if Jerry and Gangsta run with their shoelaces untied. They always seem to be tripping or wondering off the clearly marked paths. It's a testament to your love and patience that they always seem to find their way back home.

You've really decorated the place quite nicely, by the way. Especially since cleaning all the clutter off the walls. It was a little distracting trying to carry on a conversation with so much stuff going on in the background.

So back to that trick. C'mon, what's the secret to looking so young? Have you discovered the fountain of youth? Or could it be that you've always been young at heart? And some how that inner innocence keeps the outward appearance in check. Not sharing, huh? Well, I respect your privacy. Although let's be honest, your children haven't exactly taken the fifth, if you know what I mean.

What's that? I'm out of line? You're right, I went a little too far. Didn't mean for you to take it that way. You forgive me? Gee, thanks.

You know, I think I'm catching on to you. Maybe the secret to your success is humility and forgiveness. No, I agree. Not very easy traits to learn or practice for that matter. But I promise to try. I may need help though. I don't want to impose, but do you mind if I stop by every other day or so? You're right on my way to work.

Great! So I'll see you Monday then. Doors open anytime? Ma'am, you really are a most welcoming host. No, no please sit down, I'll let myself out. Thanks again for having me over and Happy Birthday!

Oh, hey guys! I didn't know you were out here. I just had a nice chat with your Mom and now I'm headed home. What's that? You heard that crack about the shoelaces. Listen fellas, I was only kidding. You didn't think it was funny. Well, there's no need for that kind of language. And there's definitely no need for those baseball bats. Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't hav---Oh, please don't. Please don't smash my car's window. Or the hood. WHAT ARE YOU DOIN??? PUT THAT KNIFE AWAY!!! NOT IN MY TIRES!!!!

Now, how am I supposed to get home???

TAKE THE BUS???!!!

What are YOU, CRAZY!!!!!

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J.Jerry here...

Happy 6 months Ms. YITS. Thanks for all the great laughs and ball busting hilarity. I’m honestly astounded that this thing, whatever it is, has gone on for 6 months. I thought for sure, and I’ve even commented, perhaps more times than I should have, that I figured this entire operation was bound to fall along the wayside throughout any one of our adventurous travels. We’ve persevered.

So Gangsta, did you think this is where we’d be 6 months ago? I sure as hell didn’t. Part of me is grateful, but the other part of me wishes I had those 6 months back and never suggested a “quote book journal.”

Others are encouraged to celebrate the 6-month anniversary of Yeah, I Figured That Much. Your next drink, be it this weekend, next week, next year, or in about an hour and a half (in my case) propose a toast to YIFTM. Celebrate life in the company of loved ones that are decent enough to ignore your past. My place for such company: Yeah, I Figured That Much.