Nice Guys Finish Last

Editor's Note: In celebration of the Mij's favorite band, 311 (March 11th - National 311 day), Yeah I Figured is pleased to present a belated birthday greeting to our Executive Director, Grease. Enjoy!

MADISON, WI (YIFTM) - Happy Birthday buddy! Let’s skip the pleasantries and get right down to the grime: you’re no longer a young man. You’ve entered a state of limbo known as the late twenties and as I understand it, this is ‘make or break’ time. It’s a time to reflect on the road traveled and the journey that lies ahead. The inevitable thoughts (regrets, mortality) that accompany each passing year, have all of a sudden gained a stronger sense of urgency.

For some, this transitional period can be overwhelming to the point of complacency. For others, it will motivate and inspire change. And judging from the recent lack of communication between us, I see that you are well on your way to a brighter future!

By leaving the idiots behind, you’ve taken the first step toward a respectable place in society. During our long and rewarding friendship (rewarding for me, I don’t know what the hell you got out of it), I’ve often felt like an anchor to your vessel. Well, that anchor has been lifted and your ship is ready to set sail.


So, in wishing you the happiest of birthdays, it saddens me that my guardian angel for the past few years will no longer be around to protect me from myself. No more lap dances to mend a broken heart or Rossi-induced revelations. Looks like I’ll have to get by on soon to be distant memories. And so it goes…

P.S. – Could I at least get back the contents of the ‘CD Projects’ case. That’ll come in handy.