Bucho Makes a Killing

Yeah I Figured's President Bucho and CEO GDub offer their belated birthday greetings to columnist Hennessy in the form of a used snot rag. Bucho later stated, "He's lucky to get even this."

SANTA CECILIA, MEXICO - Another YITS survey win for everyone's favorite drug kingpin, Bucho. This week readers were asked to name their favorite cinematic gun down. 75% of voters preferred Bucho's south of the border siesta silencio in Desperado over such bullet riddled endings for Tony Montana in Scarface, Clyde Barrow in Bonnie and Clyde, Sonny Corleone in The Godfather, and Alonzo Harris in Training Day.

"The difference between those men and me is that I can't be killed," Bucho said during a phone interview with the AP.

"Right now I'm taking a shit, having just slept with the finest of Mexican women - three whores I met after the Enrique Iglesias concert last night. To be honest I don't remember what they looked like because I couldn't see past the cigar smoke I kept blowing in their whore faces."

He continued, "But I wanted to take the time out to thank my fans and the many assassins over the years who've tried to kill me, but failed."

President Bucho received his third straight Golden Chicken award given to the winner of the Yeah, I Figured Survey.

"I'd like to dedicate this award to that knife wielding assassin from a few years back who my men mistakenly killed. Had cell phones been more readily available back then, the wrong man wouldn't have been killed. We identified you with the Columbians and we were wrong. This chicken is for you."