Milwaukee, WI – “This wasn’t the way to I-94,” were the first words spoken by commercial truck driver Randy Purvis after his heroic rescue at sea. 30 feet off shore in Lake Michigan Randy realized he’d made a crucial wrong turn. “These Hot Pockets needed to get to the Watertown Piggly Wiggly by noon. Damned it they made it.”
Scott Carrigan, store manager at the Watertown Piggly Wiggly wasn’t too excited after hearing of the waterlogged Hot Pockets. “The winter months are approaching and we’re fresh out of Hot Pockets. What the fuck?”
Milwaukee County Sheriff Jeff Gray attempted to assess the 1 way detour. “Well uh, it looked as though uh, he made a wrong turn and ended up in that lake there.”
Early reports claim that frenzied shoppers have broken out into fist fights at both Woodmans grocery store locations in Madison. We here at Yeah, I Figured That Much suggest you stockpile your delicious pocketed meal for what’s turning out to be a dramatic Hot Pocket shortage.
More news will follow as the grocery store riot develops.
26 comments:
Good I'm glad...people shouldn't be eating meat in the first place.
Fuck you J.Jerry.
You're stupid for not eating meat.
That's how I feel.
Well here's I feel. I don't care how you feel or think or anything else that can be immediately directed from you or to you or about you. You're 28 years of elipses that lead to more elipses.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've got no brains, only empty vessels of blank nothingness that voyages from one end of your head to the other. Then back again until the crew declares mutiny, but no one can agree who leads the charge because everyone is an idiot with no backbone. So the USS Idiot sets sail again and again and again.
That's how I feel.
Also I love you.
That all may be true. I may have even modeled myself after you.
But at least I'm not letting politics, or whatever STUPID reasoning you may hold determine what I eat.
Steak tastes good. Eat it.
Also I hate you.
Besides, how much of an idiot could I be if I created this blog that you check daily.
Creating blogs and eating meat: JDot.
Well sorry to report, but your idol, Greasy Stinkbeard, is now a Vegetarian.
I could give 2 shits what Treatbox eats. He's never made the comment "people shouldn't be eating meat in the first place" to me.
Just for the sake of QUALITY conversation, why don't you eat meat?
Is being a vegetarian trendy like listening to Kanye and Amy Winehouse?
Is shitting on everything that's popular trendy? No, wait a minute you've been doing that your whole life. I congratulate you on your consistency. You may be an idiot, but at least you're 100% reliable on that.
Explaining personal beliefs to people like you is a waste of time and energy because you've got your mind made up before I even open my mouth.
And what a shock, Greasebag can do no wrong in your eyes. When it comes to the Mij you're like a 12 year old girl or me at a JT concert.
Go away.
It may be cold outside, but the comments section on YITS is heating up.
For the record, I'm a flexitarian. Although I get chastised when I use the term, I like it. Also, I pretty much just like eating cow meat.
Just what I thought. The foundation of your reasoning is Vagina.
Good post - I think the story got lost in the verbal foreplay somewhere.
And I'm not shitting on veggies. My entire dinner last night consisted of nothing but carrots.
You just don't hear me mouthing off shit like, "people shouldn't be eating meat in the first place."
yeah I do.
Fuck you Mij!
what did i do?
HS Marketing.
dearest jdot,
let me clarify...people in countries like the US shouldn't be eating meat. I have an entire powerpoint presentation to back that up. serious. i did it for sales class and actually got my meat loving teacher to reconsider his evil deeds.
actually, for you, i'd go even further as to say you shouldn't be eating anything. that way you can wittle a way and die.
love,
gdub
and mij is a pussitarian.
plain and simple.
dumb.
I'd like to see y'all tryin' to feed that "Shouldn't be eating meat" shit to the lions & tigers & bears that wouldn't think twice 'bout devourin' your ass...
By the way-this driver was probably trying to just get the fuck out of Milwaukee. I know many's the time that I would have driven my truck into a lake just to beat a hasty retreat out of that miserable town...
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