BREAKING NEWS: YITS ALL-STARS IMPLICATED IN STEROID PROBE

Mitchell Report identifies writers as habitual abusers

NEW YORK - Senator George Mitchell has finally released his report detailing an era of steroid abuse in baseball. Perennial All-Stars Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, and over 80 other players were named in the 400 page report. Mitchell concludes that Commissioner Bud Selig, general managers around the league, and the Players Association did little to contain a growing problem, but stops short of immediate and wide spread punishment for players who took steroids.

"I urge the commissioner to forgo imposing discipline on player for past violations of baseball's rule on performance-enhancing substances, including players named in this report," he said. And then he backtracked, adding: "except in those cases where he determines that the conduct is so serious that discipline is necessary to maintain the integrity of the game."

Selig left open the possibility of penalties.

"I'm going to review his findings and the factual support for those findings, and punishment will then be determined on a case-by-case basis," he said. "I will take action when I believe it's appropriate."

Speculation began that Selig would first view the case of three former Milwaukee Brewers who have since retired from baseball.

Nathan Lueptow, Matthew Mijolavic, and Charles Warner were highly prized prospects in the Brewers' farm system. Each entered the league at the tail end of the 98 season when McGwire and Sammy Sosa were captivating the nation with their historic pursuit of Roger Maris' single season home run record.

Warner had developed a friendship with San Francisco Giants All-Star, Barry Bonds, who saw a little of himself in the young slugger. Both Bonds and Warner became jealous of the spotlight that McGwire and Sosa had 'stolen' from them.

Beginning in the off-season, Bonds introduced Warner to his trainer, Greg Anderson and BALCO founder Victor Conte. According to the Mitchell Report, Warner and Bonds obtained the steroid, the "Cream" and the "Clear." Warner later introduced his teammates, Lueptow and Mijolavic to the drug. The three in addition to Bonds and New York Yankee, Gary Sheffield, began a rigorous off-season training regiment.

The following season all five reported to training camp appearing significantly larger. Bonds and Sheffield went on to have career seasons, while the three Brewers succumbed to what has been termed, 'roids rage' - an offshoot of the drug that elevates anger. Brewers sources told Mitchell that the three teammates would constantly yell and scream at each other and for long stretches of the 99 season, not even appear to be on speaking terms.

Clubhouse turmoil withstanding, all three had highly successful rookie seasons, so much so that they canceled each other out for Rookie of the Years honors. The fallout that ensued included all three players retiring and disowning one another. It is only recently that the three have become friends again and earlier this year started the on-line news site, Yeah, I Figured That Much.

Speculation of steroid use still surrounds the three however, as their inflated offensive stats have transferred into inflated sentences and paragraphs.

Warner, now using the alias, GDub, was the only one willing to offer comment on the report. He said:

"Look, I'm not here to talk about the past. And as far as us using steroids today, well that's just ridiculous. I mean look at me. I look like a 5-year old kid. And Mij...his body creates so many layers of grease, that cream and clear could never penetrate It."

Warner was less optimistic of Lueptow's innocence.

"JDot (Lueptow's now alias) on the other hand...check out dude's forearms. They're the size of tree trunks. Plus he's a moody bitch. That's all I'll say about that."

Commissioner Selig has requested a meeting with all three, to which they have yet to reply.

The Associated Press contributed

to this story.