It was just reported today by AT&T Chief Production Analyst Richard Weir that by January 1st, 2009 AT&T would complete their secret project appropriately titled, “No More Four.” In a brief press conference at the steps of the West Coast Offices of Yeah, I Figured That Much Mr. Weir explained AT&T’s position. “We spent billions of dollars and over 20 years of man hours and came to a glaring realization. Phone users, on average, use the number 4 less than any other number on the 12 digit key pad. That includes the star and pound keys. That is why by 2009, AT&T will become digit 4 free.”
The well mannered crowd of about 7 took this news with a mix of mild excitement and bitter contempt. Crowd participant Gregg Mills seemed distraught, “My cell phone contains the number 4 twice. What the shit am I to do now?” Others like Pam Wendy were a bit more optimistic, “The number 4 has been loosing popularity since the 70’s. It’s about damn time.”
Mr. Weir presented his concept of the new 11 digit key pad on a crumpled bar napkin and handed out “No More Four” t-shirts to those in attendance.
AT&T’s dominance in the telecommunications world will no doubt force other phone providers to follow suit.
More on this breaking story as it develops.
- Henley Nuschler contributed to this story.
It was just reported today by AT&T Chief Production Analyst Richard Weir that by January 1st, 2009 AT&T would complete their secret project appropriately titled, “No More Four.” In a brief press conference at the steps of the West Coast Offices of Yeah, I Figured That Much Mr. Weir explained AT&T’s position. “We spent billions of dollars and over 20 years of man hours and came to a glaring realization. Phone users, on average, use the number 4 less than any other number on the 12 digit key pad. That includes the star and pound keys. That is why by 2009, AT&T will become digit 4 free.” 
2 comments:
After thou hast countethed to three, three being the number of counting,thou shalt not proceedeth then to four...
...five is right out!
I'd say get rid of 2 as well. But with that, I am conflicted.
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