Top 5 Post Cold War(ner) Moments
LONDONDERRY- 5. May 16, 2004: "You're pretty cool for a Filipino." The king of underhanded compliments was said to Warner, at Miller Park, on the day Ben Sheets became the Milwaukee Brewers king of strikeouts. He still bought stickers from the weirdo chick who uttered the infamous sales pitch. Sums him up pretty well though.
4. March 23, 2006: "Whoa!" Warner was new to the vegetarian thing and was pissed at the world when his meal consisting of an extremely greasy blooming onion was not up to his standards. At his own fault, he almost knocked over a whole tray of entrees a waitress was carrying as he angrily got up from the booth. Instead of apologizing, he simply said "Whoa!" very loudly and walked off to the restroom to try and wash the grease off his hands. After paying the bill, we walked out, Warner 22 steps ahead of me. The hostess said, "have a good night" to him, but he rudely did not answer even though it was obvious to all he heard her. Later we saw a Spike Lee film that he did not like.
3. Sept. 8, 2005: "F***ing Have Her!" He traded away the perfection that is Portman for a cocktail waitress we will never see again, as his favorite music group provided the soundtrack for his deal with the devil. This one still hurts him so I will not go any further.
2. Sept. 23, 2006: "I Hate Star Wars!" After buying a "Darth Tater" toy and a huge $10 Darth Vader bag mere hours earlier to put all his gifts in for Skeet's son's first birthday party, this infamous line was uttered. As a good host, Skeet tried to engage Warner and another guest in conversation with Star Wars as the ice breaker. The rest is Warner history.
1. March 29, 2003: Kobe #8 Jersey, Chain, Light-Light Blue Baggy Blue Jeans, White High Tops, Leather Jacket. Another case of Warner walking 22 steps ahead of everyone after being angry that Roger Ebert did not call on him at a question and answer session. He was also angry he had competition for alpha-male of the group that day with R.B. in town. I later saw Bon Jovi in concert so this was a very memorable 12-hour period for me. An action figure of Warner from this day is in the works.
You've been Warn.e.r.d.!
Top 5 L. Lippy moments coming soon.
5 comments:
In the history of the Mijarner, this by far is the hardest you have ever made me laugh...laughter mired in tears, but joyous laughter indeed...
A big shout out to my neighbor to the north for withholding the infamous "lockjaw incident of '05"...I wouldn't have used such friendly discretion.
you realize that an article entitled, "Rossi Rage" is forthcoming...
hope this serves as an icebreaker, so i can utilize your resume writing talents as well as piano cat lessons for the week of 4.1 - 4.9. I've been quite fearful of calling you...gangstas get scared too.
how bout we watch out for justice tonight and have a few?
please reply in TEXT form.
love, Gangsta
Great stuff. But for the record, who's got Portman now? I feel this topic needs to be discussed at great length.
Oh, and I may need to invoke my Emperor privileges if the L.Lippy article hits too close to home.
(I can't believe I actually said with a serious face that you couldn't call me Lippy)
WHAT AN ASSHOLE!
PORTMAN IS MINE. MIJOLVIC IS LIVING A LIE.
Clarification - Gangsta didn't get the headline - these are the top 5 moments since we've become friends again - not all-time moments.
All-time moments would have included the Penny Hardaway jersey incident, "Charles Jordan", etc.
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