SUMMER MOVIES

LONDONDERRY - When will Hollywood have some new ideas? Have they run out of ideas? Where are the new ideas? 13 sequels this summer - it sounds like Hollywood has run out of ideas. From Spiderman 3 to Shrek 3, from this numbered sequel to this name-variation sequel. I don't like sequels - not fresh. They are inherently bad and I know this even before I've seen them.

Here's a quote:
"For the past decade, sequels have been the cash cow for Hollywood, and, to be honest, when they try to venture from them, when they try to do things that are original at least around summer time and in spring, like Grindhouse, they don't do well. Audiences say they want something new, they want something fresh but if you look year after year, the highest grossing films are sequels." - On Point guest

A 3- hour heavy-R split into two features with no intermission based on shitty films no one under 40 has ever seen, released Easter weekend. People are so stupid cause they don't like original movies like Grindhouse! The sequel to Grindhouse will probably do well though.

All this talk of sequels sounds like a sequel to all the talk of sequels last summer. Anyway, thank goodness for indie films. I love indie films - so fresh! Now that I have illustrated how bad sequels are, here is a list of indie films I am looking forward to this summer:

Hurlyburly 2007 - Staring Jermo Kawasaki, L. Lippy, Minh?, whoever else lives with them.

Cable Guy - Not to be confused with The Cable Guy, this one is written by, directed by and stars Hennessey. Early buzz is this devastating, yet restrained film will be darker than HD 149026b. That's pretty dark - and this is only a film adaption of what Hennessey saw with his own eyes while on the job.

Apocalippy - Again, not to be confused with another film (Mel Gibson's historical epic). Apocalippy does not tell the story of the end of an entire civilization, rather the end of one man. When L. Lippy meets his childhood hero Rickey Henderson at a L.A. sports bar, the two become fast friends over several beers. When the Greatest Ever confides in L. Lippy that his stolen base record can be wholly attributed to roids, L. Lippy's innocence is lost. L. Lippy's innocence is obliterated when Rickey pulls a tube of cream (H stands for Henderson!!!, H stands for Henderson!!!) out of his pocket and asks his #1 fan to spread it over his rhoids like he spread his arms over 939. A series of devastating, yet restrained scenes follows.

Half Warner - An idealistic young man working with inner-city residents is torn between his desire to change the world and his crippling addiction - an addiction to linen pants. His secret life is uncovered in a series of devastating, yet restrained scenes. Ultimately he must come to terms with the fact that everyone can see his balls.

You Can Count on Mij - Based on a true story - Always restrained, always devastating.