OUR BELOVED FüHRER
GLENDALE, CA – So today is Friday, and once again I’m forced to squeeze a novel out of a sentence. Pertaining to the most recent Hitler-like revamp ordered by our Führer the Gangsta, this article must be void of all things unfocused. My only and truthful concern is that in order for my posts to be focused, my mind and therefore my life must resemble some form of organization, and anyone who’s ever had a conversation with me will know my focus is as obsolete as Gangsta’s facial hair.
I’m now turning this article’s agenda towards a meeting that just took place between me and the Gangsta. During this quick and not so to the point meeting we discussed leashes, the abuse of administrative abilities, destroyed friendships and drunken Zoo parties. I was also informed by our beloved Führer that all post titles must now be in ALL CAPS.
If we didn’t love him we’d have killed him by now.
11 comments:
Great! Another humilating photo from the bottomless pit of humilating moments in my miserable life.
No Photoshop required: Gangsta Warner.
Well, at least this post knocked that other sickly photo of me off the page...relegated to the barren, unvisited land of PREVIOUS RANTS.
I love opening this page and seeing that picture towering over the site.
Our own personal "Lady Forward".
And by "Lady Forward" I assume you are referncing my love of forwarding my dick into ladies and not that bitch that sits at the Capitol.
Right?
As long as you're drinking at the Zoo or spying on Boston Store employees at the Hilldale Mall, yes.
Hey, she initiated that tryst by spying on me at Best Buy.
Best Buy, is that where you stole that Out of Sight poster?
Nope it's where i stole $60 and gave up all hopes of leading an innocent life.
what a fun summer '99...the beginning of the Star Wars saga and the beginning of the end of a high school romance.
The beginning of the end of your high school romance was when you, me and beatbox were at her Volleyball game the day before you guys started your relationship that some states grant a legal marriage. I distinctly remember you saying you didn't like her or that you didn't think she looked good.
It was over before it began.
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