And the Saying Goes

MADISON, WI - My fish died today. Her name was Mary Lani Liu Chow Ping Yun Fat Marembe Rodriguez. I just called her Mary. She was given to me as a gift by someone very important. Mary was in my life for almost two years. And now she's gone. Like the colors that faded from her once vibrant body, I'm left with only memories. Some bad, some good, but all necessary. Mary had a free spirit that seemed to cost a fortune to nurture. She was limitless love confined in a small aquarium. She let me know when she was hungry and when she wasn't. Some days she just refused to eat. I worried about that. But she would just calmly look at me as if to say, "You don't get it...and you never will."

The last few months have been hard. Watching helplessly as someone that had been so responsive now lay desolate and still. There were times when Mary seemed to acknowledge my hope, but for whatever reason lost that will to continue. I trust she's in a better place now.

As for me, well you don't ever really let go of something so important, do you? You don't really move on or give up. You just make peace, play the hand your dealt, but maybe hope for a better one next time.